Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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