kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
