I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
