Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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