just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
