Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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