there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
