Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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