is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
