i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
