I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
