oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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