Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
