I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
