You work out of a Hotel?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
