Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
