he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize