Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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