apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
