out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
