yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
