I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
