do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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