my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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