But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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