I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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