Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
