If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
