Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
