you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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