OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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