Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Terrible idea I love it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
