Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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