I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
