we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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