.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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