i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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