my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
