her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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