So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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