tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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