I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
