i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
