Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
