i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
