sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
only if we run a train.
done.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
