Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
