My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
