Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it because I queefed?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize