Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
