brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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