please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
