Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we made out on top of his cat.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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