Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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