wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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