so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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