you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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