Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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