I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
