basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
