My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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