Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
